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. While there are numerous stress management techniques to help you manage your stress during your job search, the most important strategy is to manage your mind and your self-critical thoughts.
As humans, we have an internal voice that hardly ever stops. It is the inner conversation or inner monologue that constantly goes on in our mind, analyzing everything about our lives and our experiences. We each create our own self-critic that can lead us to endlessly question ourselves and actions. During a stressful job search, the inner critic can be especially vocal.
Thinking is a useful activity required for solving problems, analyzing, comparing, studying, and planning. Too often, though, our thoughts are self-critical. While constructive self-criticism and a healthy sense of guilt in small doses can be helpful because they encourage us to take responsibility for our actions and motivate us to improve ourselves, excessive self-criticism can be debilitating and self-defeating. Our thoughts and beliefs influence our reality.
The first step is to recognize what is going on. Because we’re so used to it, our self-criticism can be like background noise that we hardly notice. When we accept self-criticism without question, its impact is strongest. Becoming aware of what you are saying to yourself is the first step in changing your thoughts.
Once you are aware of your self-critical thoughts, commit to changing your self-critical habit and what you think about yourself. Do you believe that you need to accept everything your mind tells you because you assume your mind is looking out for your best interests? This is simply not true. Our mind likes the status quo, it likes its comfort zone, and it resists change. What better way to maintain the status quo than to keep us feeling disempowered and weak?
When your internal voice starts criticizing you, create a kinder voice that encourages you and reminds you of whom you really are. Create a voice that treats you as a dearly loved and respected friend to counter that self-critical voice that treats you as an incompetent fool.
Recognize that you have established a lifetime habit of talking to yourself the way that you do. It is certainly possible to change your inner critic habits but recognize that, as with any ingrained habit, it may take some time. With concentrated effort, you can begin to make noticeable changes.
Decide to be your own best friend and refuse to be your own worst critic! Energize your job search by monitoring your mind, changing your thoughts, and switching your self-criticism to support.